As I was on my usual walk back through the Duke Gardens, to my apartment on Central Campus, I saw your kids rolling down the grassy hill.  You sat there peacefully watching them as they giggled and shrieked, tumbling down, and down again.  However, what made me smile, and made me want to write this post, is the fact that your little girl rolling down the hill was bald.   I wanted so much to stop and say hi because your little girl’s baldness was so familiar to me and instantly told me she was fighting something big.  Because of that fight, so much of her childhood has likely already been filled with experiences no child should have.  As much as I wanted to let you know I understand, as much as I wanted to find understanding in you, I could not bring myself to break you out of that beautiful moment.  By peacefully sitting on that hill in the North Carolina sunshine, you gave your daughter a chance to laugh, to have fun, to enjoy time with her sibling, and to be “normal” for a little while.

You also provided me with a glimpse into my past life - a motivational reminder that I have so many reasons to laugh and enjoy the sunshine, as your little girl was.  You reminded me of my amazing mother’s effort to give me opportunities to laugh, to have fun, and to be “normal” too.

Whoever you may be, I wish you and your daughter all the best.  I hope you can enjoy the sunshine and each other’s laughter for years and years to come.  I also hope that one day your little girl can walk by that grassy hill, as a 21-year-old thriving survivor, like I was able to do.

Maya Angelou once wrote "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."  I have definitely felt a kind of agony over the last several years, since I have yet to write that book I had initially set out to write back in 10th grade. 

I have felt a kind of obligation to other teenage and young adult cancer patients and survivors: to be open and honest about the ups and downs of treatment, the impact they have on your present life, and the ways you can cope with them so that you can have as positive of a future as possible.  I felt this way because I wished, when it all started on the day of my relapse diagnosis 8 years ago, that someone would have been honest with me about how bad and how brilliant the ride through treatment would be.  I wished I had been over-prepared, rather than under-prepared, in terms of what I should have expected from my treatment.

Well, I am incredibly excited to announce that I finally have written the book for Riding the Cancer Coaster: Survival Guide for Teens and Young Adults.  It will be published on Amazon this fall.

Publishing this book marks the end of a major adventure - one that has led me to create this blog, meet so many amazing people, and decide to pursue a career in psychology and help young people with cancer.

I also think it marks the beginning of another incredible adventure - getting the book out into the world, to the patients, survivors, caregivers, and families I hope it can help.

I know each person's cancer experience is unique and that what helps some people cope does not help others.  I also recognize that some people's experiences with cancer are significantly more difficult than mine, and that others may go through treatment that is significantly shorter or less intense than my relapse treatment.  

I believe we all share an underlying yearning to be understood, to know that there is someone else in the universe who, in one way or another, understands what it is to live life as a teenage/young adult cancer patient or survivor.  I also think that knowing you are understood and not alone can be two of the most powerful factors of support for our age group.

So, while my book may not directly apply to the kind of treatment you  receive or the particular issues you face, it is my hope that it can support you by letting you know that you are not alone and that I was able to find some ways to deal with my challenges - ways that you may find effective too.  I also hope that, if you are just embarking on your cancer coaster adventure, I will be able to help you navigate the crazy, big world of oncology.  

With that said, keep checking back here this fall for updates and information on the official release of Riding the Cancer Coaster: Survival Guide for Teens and Young Adults!